


Lighthouse

by whimsicalmuse



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-23
Updated: 2004-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7728760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalmuse/pseuds/whimsicalmuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merry comforts Pippin after his run in with the Palantir.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lighthouse

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the [Monaboyd.net Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Monaboyd.net), which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Monaboyd_Archive/profile).
> 
> \---
> 
> A/N: This was a response to a challenge posted to me by _doodle to deal with an excerpt from the novel, as well as address some issues that would exist between the two characters. The first part deals with Pippin’s immediate reaction to the horror, and the second will deal with Merry’s take on the matter, as well as their separation. (Don’t wait up for this kids as other fics are crowding for attention) This was beta’d lightening fast by my dear maidenvixen My second Merry/Pippin, ever! Special thanks to thuribrandybuck for checking over the language!

 

 

_He [Gandalf] lifted Pippin gently and carried him back to his bed. Merry followed, and sat down beside him. 'Lie there and rest, if you can, Pippin!' Said Gandalf. 'Trust me. If you feel an itch in your palms again, tell me of it! Such things can be cured. But anyway, my dear hobbit, don't put a lump of rock under my elbow again! Now, I will leave you two together for a while.' The Two Towers. The Palantir._

 

I could compare it to simple sensations but that would be a gross understatement. Nay, to hold what I held in my hand, to see what I saw was the true anti-thesis of all things good in the world. The end of all joy, kindness and hope that I had ever experienced. I was dimly aware of Gandalf's knarled hand on my sweaty brow as he examined me, worry wrought on his face. At times the wizard could look ageless, with glittering eyes as new and unspoiled as a child, but at that moment I saw the true extent of the years, and felt them fall heavy upon too-frail shoulders.

First, I thought those eyes shone with pity, and an unnatural rage coiled within me, but as the gentle rumble of his timbre settled over me, it passed and I came to reconcile the glint in his eye for what it truly was: empathy.

When he was sure The Eye was no longer interested in me, he left me to Merry, knowing better than I did, just how I would need my kinsman in that moment. I had been inclined, at first, to shy from my cousin, as I could choke on the shame I was grappled with. But with one glance at his tear-streaked face, I swallowed my reservations and faced him.

Words cannot be used in times such as these, for they seem a pale sentiment. I may have muttered his name before I was in his arms but I was never sure. I clung to him, inhaled his scent like a blind puppy does his mother, relishing the tang of sweat, the musk of horse, and the crisp grass and soap smell that lingered, reminding me of The Shire. He didn’t move, or speak, he simply held me.

It was exactly what I needed to coax the dark feelings out of me.

"It was as if I had been swallowed whole by pure blackness Merry." I took his silence as an invitation to continue. "There was only pain, misery, strife, jealousy, all things unkind and malicious, rimmed in fire and crowned with lightening. A voice," my own voice hitched and I shuddered around a sob, "it told me to give up Merry. To yield and accept a death and afterlife alone, wandering for my forefathers and friends in a shadow world."

"Never," he growled, and pulled me closer to him, burying his wet face in my hair. "Had you gone, Peregrin Took, I would have followed you to this end and beyond."

"I feel so hollow Merry, so cold. I cannot even recall the Shire in my mind anymore. I cannot see that which I want to go home to."

It became hard to distinguish his tears from mine, and we clung to one another, feeling like driftwood in a torrential storm. My teeth clattered, I was cold to my bones and numb, though my body was covered in sweat. He kissed my brow, murmuring soft words of kindness and love, and the feather light touch was a salve for my spirit.

For all the pain, all the fear I had endured at the hands of the Palantir, I found salvation in his arms. We sought on another in a desperate move to wash away the dark whispers and cold mist that seemed to ricochet in the room and each touch was like gift in my eyes. Colors blossomed behind my eyelids, yellow, green, orange, and his fingers on my chest were like a songbird's melody on a fine morning. His lips on my throat were perhaps a sky blue, a field of daisies, and I could once again recall the smell of stem and earth. His whispers on the shell of my ear were like a breeze on reeds by the Brandywine on a sticky summer afternoon. He filled me, bathed me in sunshine and care, and I felt new, born again, like a rose from a winter's nap.

For how long we held one another, I cannot say, but at length man, dwarf, elf, and wizard, returned with food and drink that was sawdust on my lips. But I took the fare, grateful for nourishment, and ate dutifully under their watchful eyes.

Late that night, nestled in blankets once more, I cried again into the shadows. When he thought I was sleeping, he kissed my forehead and thanked the Lady that he had me back.


End file.
